Grief is the emotional reaction to loss of a beloved individual often through death. It is a natural and healthy response to loss. The bereaved individual is usually one’s spouse, child, sibling, relative or next of kin. The emotions that are associated with grieving are usually painful and they take time to heal. The affected person(s) usually find it relatively difficult to accept the loss and can take a longer time to come to terms with this loss. Grief can as well be associated with loss of property that one possess and values most. This loss could be through a natural calamity like drought or heavy thunderstorms that might cause death of one’s animals or destruction of property such as buildings. This paper seeks to elaborate on the stages that are involved in the grieving process.

According to McDonald (1985), any loss leads to grief and if the loss is ever to be fully accepted then we must go through the grieving process. The grieving process, therefore, helps in finding the serenity and peace of mind. The first stage in the grieving process is usually denial and isolation. When a person learns about the loss of a cherished beloved individual, he or she usually goes into a state of denial and isolation. This is a temporary state that helps us to deal with the immediate shock on learning the hurtful news. It’s a defense mechanism that buffers this shock. It carries us through the first wave of pain and begins a consequent process that will eventually lead to healing.

In the second stage of grieving, anger sets in (Axelrod, 2013). This is after denial and isolation starts to wear off. The intense emotion is withdrawn from ourself-defenseless core and redirected to other people or objects. These people usually include close relatives, friends or siblings, as well as, inanimate objects like buildings and other property. The anger could as well be directed towards total strangers.We feel irate and some people might get uncontrollable and cause more harm and damage. In extreme circumstances, anger may be directed at our deceased loved one(s). Rationally, we know that all these people or objects are not to be blamed for our pain. Emotionally, however, we tend to blame the person for causing us the pain.The doctor who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease may as well become a convenient target. Therefore, it is usually important to take time and think critically about the possible sequellae of our irrational actions that are usually driven by the anger.

The third stage of grieving encompasses a weaker defense mechanism that we normally employ in order to deal with our pain (Axelrod, 2013). This is called the bargaining stage. We generally try to regain control over our normal feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. After dealing with the anger we tend to ask our self questions and think that if only we had looked for a better doctor then our beloved one could not have been deceased. Similarly, we tend to wish that we sought medical attention sooner than we did. By the time we come to the end of this stage, we are usually devoid of anger and slowly transform into the next stage.

When all the bargaining and sadness is finally gone, we slowly soar into a fourth stage of grieving known as depression (Thorngren, 2014). In this stage, a deep-seated heavy load of sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the burial and costs that are to be incurred. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with other people and that we might as well have caused innocent people unnecessary stress and suffering. A simple clarification and assurance usually eases this phase and helps in dealing with the sadness. We may need helpful cooperation and a few kind words to give us strength. In most circumstances, a hug is the only sure and simple way that we feel accepted and relieved of the pain and suffering that comes with such irreversible loss.

The fifth and final stage of grieving is the acceptance phase (Jackson, 2008). This is not easily achieved by many people. We must have gone through the previous four stages in order to reach and successfully navigate through this crucial stage. We have therefore; to accept the fact that death is inevitable and thus we cannot forever live in denial, isolation, anger, bargaining and depression when it occurs. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. However, this should not be confused as a period of happiness. The pain of the loss is still there, only that the bereaved individual(s) has learned to accept the truth and initiate the process of healing. Coping with the loss is ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience. Nobody can help you go through it easily or understand the emotions that you are going through. Other people can just be there to help you go through this process. Resisting it will only prolong the process of healing.

In conclusion, it is important to note that, death or any other form of loss that inflicts human suffering can be inevitable. This loss can befall anyone irrespective of their social, economic, political or academic status in the society. When it happens we are left short of choices but to accept it. Thus, we have to steadily go through the stages of grieving to help our souls achieve complete and total healing. This will ultimately help us deal with the grief.

References

Axelrod, J. (2013). The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. Retrieved from Psych Central website athttp://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

Jackson, J. (2008). The Mourning and Grieving Process. Frederick, MD. PublishAmerica.

McDonald, C. P. (1985). Grieving: A healing process. The grieving process. Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing.

Thorngren, J.M., &Betz, G. (2014). Ambiguous Loss and the Family Grieving Process. The Family Journal, V(N), P-P.